When asked how he feels heading into his last game voicing the Hawks, and his first game with pads, Foley responded, "Utterly terrified, I do not want this."
Read MoreCardinals Head Coach Kliff Kingsbury was also disappointed in his team’s performance, stating, “I know we won, but we only beat them by 11. I’m not gonna crown our asses.”
Read More“We really believe here that the Andy Dalton that you all have seen since 2011 is not the Andy Dalton we picked up, nor has he ever been that Andy Dalton,” said Coach Nagy.
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“Your cherished remembrances, days in the sunshine, and the North Side’s warm sense of community, all are valuable assets in today’s league.”
Read More“The White Sox organization made up 'Tim Anderson' in 2015," said Hahn. "It was a very dark time for the fanbase and we weren't playing great baseball. We just wanted to give fans something to cheer for. We never expected it to go this far."
Read More“As a lifelong Bears fan, the father of two said that this past draft was the first time since 1985 that he has felt complete inner fulfillment.”
Read More“Carrying what he insists on calling the ‘Covid Vaccine Cannon 6000’ (CVC-6000 for short), Benny will fire doses aimlessly into crowds of no more than 25 persons (socially distanced of course) in parking lot zone B.”
Read More"We know men are accustomed to this ritual bathroom exposure, but allowing them to partake within the Friendly Confines itself will have to wait.
Read More"We are willing to spend all of our draft picks to build a roster that lets Watson know we're Super Bowl or bust."
Read More“A potential roster was leaked to The Machine with a mixed up lineup including Contreras pitching, Darvish playing outfield, and a member of the Chicago Dogs acting as a pinch hitter while Bote watches.”
Read More“Lost all these games due to covid, but to be honest, we had a lot of fireworks left over from the 2019 season,” said Guaranteed Rate Field maintenance worker, Carl Fisker. “Really thought Yolmer Sanchez would have a better year.”
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“As cases piled up around the world this winter, I knew it was my responsibility to make sure we were so far out of playoff contention, that any dangerous plans to return to a potentially interrupted season would not include us.”
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“Crowds will be discouraged from gathering around, but it will be broadcast on the Marquee Network, if you can find it.”
Read More“We considered editing a mask onto MJ in every clip to comply with CDC standards, but that would have been a little too far.”
Read More“It was ideal for quarantine. Pretty roomy without the officials in there, and the WiFi connection is surprisingly strong. I will kind of miss it.”
Read More“I’m not supposed to be crying in March, I’m supposed to have an inappropriate amount of hope right now that this might be the year they barely win the World Series again,” said Jones.
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“It came down to Brady or Bridgewater. We couldn't make up our minds. Then, I thought, ‘What do people get when they need to compromise?’ Subway. Problem solved.”
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"Coming out of my Freshman year of college, I was ready to take whatever job gave me an offer. The Bulls are a great organization, so I figured I could always work my way up from Center, to senior manager in the ticket sales office.”
Read More"We did our best to prepare the UC for the Bulls to return, but it took longer than expected to pick up all of the hot dogs that somebody shot out of a t-shirt cannon.”
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