Report: Bears Exactly Who We Thought They Were

By Mitchell Trachtenberg

CHICAGO, IL - Yesterday, the Bears took the field against the first place Arizona Cardinals, and proved once and for all that they are exactly who we thought they were.

“I’m not an idiot. I knew we didn’t have our starting quarterback, but I figured Deandre Hopkins and Kyler Murray would be slower after returning from injuries. That’s why we even took the damn field!” said embattled 4th year Head Coach Matt Nagy in his postgame press conference.

It took just 1 quarter for the Bears to let the Cardinals off the hook, with two interceptions that both turned into touchdowns, leading to a 33-22 loss.

On the other sideline, Cardinals Head Coach Kliff Kingsbury was also disappointed in his team’s performance, stating, “I know we won, but we only beat them by 11. I’m not gonna crown our asses.”