ABOUT
Hello there, We are the Chicago Machine, the proud owners of this great city. From the top of the Sears Tower spires, to the mold growing on the bottom of the pedway, you name it, we own it. We own you, we own your house, and we especially own the Burger King on 40th and Pulaski. You know that weirdly shaped building right on LaSalle and Wells, I think it’s called the Thompson Center?
Yeah, we own that too. So why not receive your news from those who know this city better than anybody? Soon, you’ll realize that this paper is the only news source you truly need, and we hope you enjoy it.
Sincerely,
Editors Wendell Jeff and Hirsch Ptyc