‘We’ve also accepted a few color sponsorships, so we can use some of this money on, um, other stuff. Definitely not police,” the Mayor’s office said. Examples of these sponsored lines include “Ford’s Velocity Blue Line” and “Delicious Florida Orange Line”.
Read More“Carrying what he insists on calling the ‘Covid Vaccine Cannon 6000’ (CVC-6000 for short), Benny will fire doses aimlessly into crowds of no more than 25 persons (socially distanced of course) in parking lot zone B.”
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It turns out that Cytosine has a very soothing mouthfeel, and the flavor of Uracil complements very well with salmon roe and cayenne pepper.”
Read More"I've got my buddy Mike, here for emotional support and to supply me with day-old Chinese food. Then I'm going to get a good night of rest, wake up early, and just start drinking before I have a chance to question my life decisions.
Read More4. Meet up with friends in the beginning of the day, and then never see them again!
Read More“I just want a grilled cheese.” said Oliver Achatz, Grant’s youngest son. “I mean, I liked the Swedish prawn consomme with dehydrated oysters from Alinea’s menu, but sometimes I just want something more normal.”
Read More“Jason just believes that Mondays are terrible and ought not to be recognized by the residents of Garfield Park.”
Read More“This is the 6th consecutive year that Illinois has lost population, but I say good riddance. There’s too much traffic on the Edens anyway.”
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“We're not saying that if you take Fosamax your bones will also last for 67 million years, but we're also not not saying that,” said Merck spokesperson Matt Morgan.
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"Billy really had to go pee, so we pulled off at the Chicago Avenue exit, directly into Lake Michigan," said Edith Parman, from her room at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. "The car is in the shop and I need surgery, but Billy stopped complaining, and this is better than sitting in traffic."
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Six runners, 3 volunteers, and a rescue team are still unaccounted for.
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