Now the world is your popsicle! Here are ten things you can lick once you get your second dose:
Read MoreEditors’ note: Those who are angry at us for calling it the “Willis tower” can take solace in that we won’t be calling it that name much longer.
“Carrying what he insists on calling the ‘Covid Vaccine Cannon 6000’ (CVC-6000 for short), Benny will fire doses aimlessly into crowds of no more than 25 persons (socially distanced of course) in parking lot zone B.”
Read More“I start by getting dressed up, contouring my face, drinking three shots of cupcake flavored vodka and shotgunning a can of Underwood Chardonnay."
Read More"We know men are accustomed to this ritual bathroom exposure, but allowing them to partake within the Friendly Confines itself will have to wait.
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So that’s what Lincoln Towing is up to nowadays!
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Somebody make sure he’s okay!
Read More"It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and an abortion.”
Read More“Our own FAIR & BALANCED polling of family and friends shows almost 70% of votes were cast for THE CHICAGO MACHINE! Additionally, we mailed RELIABLE paper ballots into The Chicago Reader. They said polling was online only, they didn’t know how we got their address, and told us to stop harassing them. FRAUD!”
Read More“IDPH recommends that St Paddy’s Day revellers proceed through stages of inebriation - sober, buzzed, drunk, brownout, and blackout drunk - as efficiently as possible.”
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