National Weather Service Says Chicago Now Warm Enough for Citizens to Catch Covid Outside

By Tommy Spears

CHICAGO, IL - According to their recent thirty-day forecast, the National Weather Service has announced that temperatures in Chicago are now warm enough for citizens to once again catch covid outside.

“With a strong warm front moving in from the southeast, Chicagoans can expect sunshine, gentle rain, and plenty of opportunities to take in the fresh aerosols,” said Helen Dashell, spokesperson for the NWS, adding “It’s much better for your mental health to catch this respiratory virus outdoors in the sunshine, or at a park with your loved ones.

The news comes as a welcome change for city dwellers who have spent much of the past winter spreading and catching Covid indoors at restaurants, parties and unauthorized bars.

“I for one can’t wait to go and get the 'rona at a Cubs game,” said Dan Kinsey, a local man who says he’s been wearing his mask below his nose since the start of quarantine. “But honestly it’ll just be nice to hang out with friends in a park or at a backyard barbecue and give it to each other while it’s nice out.”

“I’m really looking forward to outdoor concerts like Ravinia,” said Skokie native Jamie Stern. “Just to be around people sharing a musical experience again...the Covid’s gonna be magical.”

While bigger events like Lollapalooza and Riotfest are waiting to announce whether or not they’ll return this year, The Chicago Machine already plans to publish a list of local, neighborhood events where attendees can support local businesses, take in the sunshine, and walk around maskless like it’s February 2020.