“I start by getting dressed up, contouring my face, drinking three shots of cupcake flavored vodka and shotgunning a can of Underwood Chardonnay."
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“‘The list was a lot less geographically diverse than it has been in past years,’ mused long-time Preservation Chicago Publisher, Jill Ragland. ‘Usually we have a few neighborhoods represented on the list. At least two. Oh well.”’
Read MoreOverall, we would recommend the kit if you literally have money to burn. Like, if you’re already burning your money, this would potentially be a better use of it. From all of us at the Machine, have a great new year!
Read MoreClakous witnessed the whole event, starting with the man flailing and twisting his 6’2” body back and forth and culminating in a backflip attempt that propelled him headfirst into Monet’s Water Lily Pond.
Read MoreHe also informed the Machine that while they will be providing masks and hand sanitizer, he encourages restaurant-goers to bring their own sleeping bags and enough entertainment to last the 14 days.
Read MoreNumber 6 will surely infuriate your roommate!
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7:34 AM, January 30th, Brown Line: a commute to work, or a commute to destiny?
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