8 Great Uses for your Discarded Ventra Cards!

By Megan Rains

You’ve got ‘em. I’ve got ‘em. Your roommate got 10 of ‘em (seriously, why does she have so many?). That’s right, the discarded, single-use Ventra cards. Whether you got one when you lost your monthly pass, your Aunt Molly left one in your apartment after she and her boyfriend visited from Vermont for a weekend, or for no reason at all, there’s no denying this is the most common coffee table item in a true Chicagoan apartment.

But what the hell do you do with them? Here are 8 of the best uses for your old Ventra cards, from a seasoned, wallet-losing 3-year Chicago veteran.

1. Leave them in your wallet

Impress your friends by making them think you have more just one debit card!

2. Add a mystery card to your UNO deck

Whoever draws it has to “ride the bus”. Get it?

3. Scrape the crud of your $50 Guy Fieri knock-off pans from Groupon –

Goodbye forever, burnt Kraft Singles pieces!

4. Cheese knife

Sadly, your debit card could only afford one nice cheese board, not an equally nice knife

5. Fix the slant on your IKEA “INGOLF” bar stools

I can’t remember building these, did I do it drunk?

 6. Punch a hole in it, tie a string through, and make a sled for the hamster your roommate didn’t ask permission to get

Okay Mr. Fuzz, are you ready to get rocked?

 7. Stocking stuffers

Your non-Chicago family LOVES hearing you talk, unprompted, about how stellar your life is in the big city. Remind them how pathetic you think their suburban “bliss” is by throwing a free token of the Second City in as their gift. NEVER AGAIN call your mom once a week sobbing about the “weight of it all”. You are a star!

8. COCAINE!

This could have been the first option, but let’s be honest. We’ve been doing cocaine the whole time.