“Any day now, Q will reveal everything,” says Smith. “Including why none of my nieces and nephews speak to me anymore.”
Read More“Our new line of fully submersible buses can travel on land and underwater, and are crewed by the bravest sailors this side of Pitcairn Island,” said Captain Grace Cook of the USS 74 Fullerton Towards Halsted. “There’s no danger from man or sea can put fear in the hearts of our crew. However, we will be running on a thirty to forty-five-minute delay until further notice.”
Read More“Dad’s usually so careful about what he puts in his body,” reported Ed Peters. “He’s always going on about not eating Tide laundry soap, or avocado toast, or unicorn lattes. Of course, we did have to rush him to the ER earlier last year when he drank a quart of bleach, but that was because the president told him to.”
Read More“Ever since it was brought home to the apartment, it has sat in the back, slumped over and gathering dust. It has been opened once, when the owner went on a health kick, but has been abandoned ever since.”
Read More“We really believe here that the Andy Dalton that you all have seen since 2011 is not the Andy Dalton we picked up, nor has he ever been that Andy Dalton,” said Coach Nagy.
Read More“Imagine a world in which you don’t have a set maximum salary or hours, and you don’t have to work when you don't want to. Sounds amazing right?”
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