Sterling Bay Announces Luxury Pothole Development

By Andrew Mason

CHICAGO, IL - Last Thursday, Lincoln Yards developer Sterling Bay revealed their newest plans for the up-and-coming riverfront neighborhood between Lincoln Park and Wicker Park. Previously labeled Lincocker Park, this new development will sport a wide range of urban amenities, however its luxury potholes will be the primary innovation.

“The idea behind this concept was to create an environment so luxurious that even the potholes oozed with class,” said Project PR Director Christopher Harvard. He continued, “Unfortunately, other ideas became scrapped, so eventually the project became solely centered around the pothole experience.”

Harvard noted that some potholes will include zen gardens, essential oils, and reflecting pools. Amenities will also depend on the size of potholes. Harvard said, “For a smaller pothole, we have refrigerated inlays that will house beverages like White Claws and Old Style. Larger potholes can provide small, intimate spaces for members of the community to gather and watch the big game or enjoy more White Claws.

The Machine reached out to the mind behind the project, James Camden, to learn more about his creative process.

“City planning is like being married. My ex-wife always said either you can try and fix a problem a hundred times or you can embrace the faults and appreciate the beauty of imperfection,” said Camden. He continued, “We want to embrace those inevitable potholes and give them a sense of purpose. Why spend tens of dollars to refill it every 2 months when we could spend hundreds to make it a staple in the community? It’s simple numbers really.” Camden spoke unprompted for another hour and a half straight before concluding with his detailed account of the message behind The Wolf of Wall Street.

When asked if Sterling Bay would be willing to develop any of the thousands of potholes that dot Chicago’s streets, Harvard stated, “I guess we could give them a pothole Long John Silver’s or something.”