Chicago Hot Dog Resolves to Finally Add That New Topping in 2020

By Dylan Siegfried

CHICAGO IL - Roger Vienna, the original Chicago Hot Dog, has always been a simple snack. But for 2020, he's planning on finally adding that new topping.

He's mentioned it in the past, but hasn't really followed through. "This year is going to be different," he said, "There comes a time in a wiener's life when Sport Peppers, Pickles, Tomatoes, Mustard, Celery Salt, Onions, Neon Relish, and Poppy Seed Buns just aren't enough."

The illustrious hot dog has been grilling up ideas all December and only a few have leaked: "Peppermint Bark", "Smoked Salmon", and "Another hot dog but a little bigger" are all interesting options. Fans will be relieved to find that Ketchup does not appear on the list.

Mr. Vienna wants to show that he can commit to a big change and notes his friend's recent transformations as a motivator. Jim Hamburger, now going by "Impossible," and Bobby Butter who prefers to be called "I-Can't-Believe-I'm Not," have said that they don't think it's going to last.

The famous wiener was last seen standing in front of a full length mirror trying on a tasteful piece of prosciutto. As the year winds down, one can only speculate what the new Chicago Hot Dog will look like, but one thing is for sure, we'll all need to open our hearts and mouths a little wider to accept him in his new form.