Handsy CTA Couple Gets One Last Fuck In Before Getting Off Train

By Daniel Stillman

CHICAGO, IL - Humping throughout the entire commute to the Loop, it was clear that the Brown Line lovers Sarah Wilson and Mark Jones were about go get one last round of intercourse before getting off of their respective stops to the distaste of the miserable morning travellers.

“It’s Tuesday morning, who’s even horny at this time? Especially while going to work,” said frustrated commuter Darnell Simmons. “I’m just trying to half-listen to a podcast, but I actually ending up missing my stop at the Merchandise Mart because the woman’s screaming was louder than the conductor’s and now I’m somehow back at Kimball and lost my job.”

Wilson and Mark Jones end up getting their last round of penetration in before they pecked each other goodbye with commuters seeing Curtis leave first. Jones knew he was getting some dirty looks from the commuters, but the criticism never seemed to bother him.

“I’m sorry that people seem to not like our live sex scene but it’s abudantly clear that no one has a love like ours that’s completely based on our need for attention,” said Jones. “If you were wondering, I just started dating Sarah last week. It’s cuffing season, what do you expect?”

Complaints have been made to the CTA about the penetrating lovers but it’s been reported they will ignore all complaints and raise ticket prices instead.