Frustrated Blue Line Operator Busts Through Rails, Drives to Daytona Beach

By Meghan Ford

CHICAGO, IL - After his third announcement advising patrons to back away from closing doors, Blue Line operator, Sherman Rourke, reportedly forced all riders to evacuate the crowded Thursday rush hour train. He broke from the tracks, and emerged from the underground route near Kinzie and North Desplaines St, just south of the Grand Ave Blue Line stop.

“I was walking down Milwaukee and suddenly the street started shaking. I thought it was a big truck or something,” stated witness, Maria Sanchez. “And then, boom! The train busted right through the street, and headed down the street. I actually give him credit for somehow staying within the bus lane."

The train was reported to have burst from underground at 5:34pm and was first seen heading south toward I-90. Barreling into traffic, the dismounted train was shockingly respectful to other drivers, signalling lane shifts and letting people into its lane.

Evacuated riders alleged Rourke stated intentions to ride south to Daytona Beach to, “finally feel the goddamn sun for a minute."

“Yeah, it was not his day,” stated Blue Line rider, James Karole. “You could just tell in his voice - he was not having it. He made the ‘step back from the doors’ announcement like five times and then he just broke. He told everyone to get the hell off his train and then just ripped it.”

Rourke was last spotted driving the stolen Blue Line train across the Georgia state line into Florida, yelling, "Sunshine State, fuckers!"