Chicago Living in Uncertain Times of When Pothole will be Fixed

By Daniel Stillman

CHICAGO, IL - If your car tires have taken a beating every time you drive on any Chicago street because of a pothole the size of Lake Michigan, you’re going to have to wait a little longer for it to get fixed. Chicagoans are living in uncertain times due to a deadly virus, but the biggest uncertainty of these times is when their streets will finally be repaired.

“This coronavirus thing has ruined a lot of things for me, like a lost Cubs season and the lack of access to Chicago hot dogs. I even had to learn what a furlough is after it happened to me, although between you and me I still don’t fully understand it. But, the worst effect of this virus is that I don’t know when my pothole is going to get fixed,” said Mark Henry, a Chicago resident.

The Chicago Department of Transportation is responsible for filling potholes, but unfortunately during the pandemic, they have delayed all of their projects. 

“We’re living in uncertain times, and now more than ever, we’re doing all that we can to serve Chicago and its residents to keep them safe,” said Chicago Department of Transportation spokesperson, Kendrick Williams. “This means that we will be using this pandemic as our most legitimate excuse to avoid filling potholes even though the biggest danger is falling into them and dying in the fiery pits of hell that lay under Chicago’s streets.” 

The Chicago Department of Transportation encourages those who see potholes to report them by continuing to mutter the complaint under your breath in frustration.