Peter Francis Geraci Performs Nightly Bedside Prayer for Your Bankruptcy

By Daniel Stillman

CHICAGO, IL - Kneeling over his bedside, Chicago bankruptcy lawyer and mogul Peter Francis Geraci is performing his nightly bedside prayer where he wishes for your financial downfall in hopes you declare bankruptcy. Geraci’s religious antics may seem distasteful, but he claims that’s just another tactic how he conducts business in the Chicago-area.

“Yes, I’m a partner at my own firm that has my namesake, but my co-partner is the man who wrote the probably the ten most famous laws ever, the Lord Himself,” said Geraci, kissing his golden cross necklace. “God came to me in my dreams and said he wanted to branch out of civil law and shaming adultery and get into bankruptcy law. I imagine he saw one of my commercials.”

The lawyer doesn’t regret turning to prayer to wish upon people to destroy their financials livelihoods because if the individual doesn’t bankrupt themselves, he will do it for them through expensive lawyer fees.

“A little bedside prayer after drinking a tall glass of blood and taking some Men’s One-A-Day multivitamins goes a long way,” Geraci said. “But if that doesn’t do the trick, I can always rely on people to screw themselves into debt. Sorry healthcare is expensive Barbara, but you should have thought about that before you received that life-saving heart surgery that you had to take out a mortgage and sell your other organs on the black-market to pay for half of the surgery. Now you’re bankrupt, Barbara and now I get to make some more money off you.”

Geraci will continue to pray for your bankruptcy, but recommends that Chicago-area residents speed up the process by continuing to sign up for every new streaming service that comes out each month.