Chicago Calls On Chance the Rapper to Do Something, Anything to Save City

By Daniel Stillman

CHICAGO, IL - In a statement from City Hall, Mayor Lori Lightfoot made a rare plea for help in an attempt to combat coronavirus in the city of Chicago. She called on Chance the Rapper to do something, really anything to help the city fight coronavirus.

“I may be the the mayor, but he is the most powerful man in the whole city,” said Mayor Lightfoot during a press conference. “We love the work he’s doing for Chicago by saying the name of his city in every song he does, but we’re calling on Chance to help us in any way he can. We recommend he starts working on a vaccine.”

The mayor continued to list reasons on why it’s Chance’s responsibility and somehow not the government’s responsibility to help fight the crises.

“Chance, I don’t know what you’re hiding under that hat with a 3 on it, but if there is a face mask or ventilator in there, please donate it to a hospital immediately,” demanded Mayor Lightfoot. “Please Mr. the Rapper, we're counting on you, you're our only hope.”

In response to the plea, Chance’s publicist stated that all he had to say at this time is that he’s from Chicago.