Chicago Coronavirus Regrets Not Seeing Art Institute Before being Quarantined

By Mitchell Trachtenberg

CHICAGO, IL - After suffering from jetlag after the long trip from Wuhan to Chicago, the coronavirus was unable to sum up the energy to finally get to see the Chicago Art Institute before being quarantined.

“It was a shame, I was hoping I would be able to see the Warhol exhibit before they contained me, but by the time I’d gotten the energy to be able to make it out there, it was too late,” said the disappointed plague. “I’m impressed they got to me so quickly.”

After finding itself wandering around Wuhan Tianhe International Airport days before, the coronavirus knew it had options on where to go next.

“I could have gone anywhere. Morocco is beautiful this time of year, and in Australia with the chaos of the fires I figured I’d be able to get around pretty easily,” the coronavirus said. “But that Warhol exhibit was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. Plus, it’s winter in Chicago, so people would just assume I’m the common cold.”

Unfortunately the virus was caught and had its Ventra card revoked. Maybe it will make it back to our fair city in time for the Food Fest where it can get another shot.