Hipster Ex-Alderman Danny Solis Prefers Analog Wiretapping

By Tommy Spears

Photo Credit: Eli Solomon

CHICAGO, IL - Cooperating with federal authorities in the ongoing investigation of former Speaker of the House Mike Madigan, Danny Solis has stated that he prefers analog wiretapping to digital methods of surveillance.

“You just don’t get that warm sound on digital that you do with vinyl or cassette tapes,” said the former alderperson of the 25th ward. “For this evidence I really wanted to go old school — no studio, just me, a 1988 Sony TC-200, and a lot of words speaker Madigan can’t take back.”

Solis’ enthusiasm for older sound media is shared by many of the FBI agents working this case. “I listen to a lot of confessions, everything from embezzlement to blackmail,” said Agent Patricia van Westrum. “The digital stuff is crisp, but there’s no heart, it’s just ones and zeros. The evidence I keep coming back to is the Watergate tapes--they weren’t worried about every little pop and hiss. They were worried about being held accountable for their many, many crimes.”

While the full terms of Solis’ cooperation have not been made public, he has announced that he will be releasing a vinyl EP of surreptitious recordings made during the Blagojevich era, entitled, “Danny Soul and the BureauCats--In Rod We Trust,” available for preorder now at Reckless Records.