"A Used Coffin," and 9 Other Great Dibs Items

By Holly Clark

Each winter, as the snow falls, Chicagoans resort to drastic measures to protect their sacred parking spaces. While lawn chairs are a common object to use for dibs, here are 10 other alternatives that are both easy to find, and effective ways of marking your territory.

  1. A used coffin

  2. An empty margarita machine

  3. A map of the best places to eat in Schaumburg

  4. The entirety of the 2009 Chicago White Sox roster

  5. A shirtless Rod Blagojevich asking if anyone wants to feel his bicep

  6. A Tom Skilling scarecrow

  7. A full bathtub with an operational toaster on its edge

  8. Zombies in MAGA hats

  9. Eddie Johnson taking a nap

  10. A speaker looping Chicago’s “25 or 6 to 4”

Most, if not all of these items may be found at your local Target. If you can’t find them on the shelves, they’ll surely have everything in the warehouse, so don’t hesitate to ask an employee if they have any Tom Skilling scarecrows in stock.

LocalMachine Staff