Chicago Medical Shows Donate Masks, Plotlines to Hospitals

By Ari Loundy

CHICAGO, IL - Amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, the cast of NBC medical drama "Chicago Med" is helping the coronavirus effort by donating masks, gloves, and plotlines to local hospitals. At first the donations were welcomed, but it turns out they're creating some problems.

“We’re grateful for the PPE donations,” said Dr. Rick Zumph at Rush Hospital, in a break between seeing patients. “However, a few of these donated plotlines are getting a little out of hand.” On top of the slowly building coronavirus cases, the staff has also had to deal with more than 120 romantic affairs, many of which involving couples where both partners were working in the hospital.

“I’ve seen some crazy things since I’ve been here.” said Jared Malone, who’s been in the hospital for a few days for an appendectomy. “Two doctors have been involved in grand romantic gestures that were definitely distracting, and the rest are just hooking up left and right. I’m surprised they focused on me enough to remove the right organ!”

While the masks and gloves have helped in the fight against coronavirus, the donated plotlines have generally brought hospital performance down. Some patients who had received successful treatments later contracted STDs after whirlwind nights of forbidden romance with doctors.

Despite the complications brought on by the medical show's donations, local hospitals are still looking for more.

“We're still in desperate need of supplies, and will take donations from just about anyone,” said Natalie Martinez, Rush's Donation Coordinator. “Not just from medical shows, but also police shows, and other medically adjacent shows or movies like "Doctor Strange" or "Dr. Sleep."

A representative of Rush Hospital has confirmed that all doctors involved in these plotlines have been using protection.