Eddie Johnson to Spend Night at Papa Rahm’s House: “He was the COOL Mayor"

By Wendell Jeff

CHICAGO, IL - After Mayor Lightfoot fired him for lying to the citizens of Chicago about an incident that left him unconscious in a car, former CPD Superintendent Eddie Johnson decided he'll be spending the night at former Mayor Rahm Emanuel's house tonight.

"Rahm was always the cooler mayor, he would let me sleep in my car whenever I wanted," yelled the ex-high ranking official in the Chicago Police Department as he gathered up a pillow and blankets, and promised he was running away for real this time. "Rahm didn’t even make me tell him if I was having girls over!”

However, Johnson's pleas fell on deaf ears, as Mayor Lightfoot told the press, "Eddie Bernice Johnson intentionally lied to me several times, even when I challenged him about the narrative that he shared with me."

Mayor Rahm Emmanuel on the other hand, was struggling to see what the big deal was.

"Eddie has been at the top of the force for three and a half years, let the guy have a little fun! Back during my administration, I'd tell you to fuck off if you didn't end your night of drinking unconscious in your car," said Emmanuel.

Johnson was last spotted at a liquor store attempting (and failing) to buy a Four Loko with Rahm Emanuel's ID.