Wire-Wearing State Senator Records Embarrassingly Large Portillo's Order

Photo by Alex Peters

By Hirsch Ptyc

CHICAGO - After Senator Terry Link (D-Green Oaks) agreed to wear a wire as part of a cooperation agreement with the FBI, the agency confirmed that it captured a recording of him placing an embarrassingly large order at the Portillo's in Vernon Hills.

"I'd like one combo sandwich and four hot dogs. No make that five hot dogs. One beef and cheddar croissant. Two Italian Beefs, one dipped and one dry," said Link on the secret recording obtained by The Machine. "And I'd like a large cake shake. No, the *large* cake shake. Yes, the one with 2,500 calories."

Link, who is reportedly facing prison time for allegedly falsifying his tax returns, was wearing the wire as part of a sting operation to catch other lawmakers involved in corrupt practices. Federal investigators thought they had struck gold when Senate President John Cullerton arrived to meet Link at the Portillo's, but were disappointed when he only placed a larger, even more embarrassing order.

"Yeah, can I have nine hot dogs, three whole chocolate cakes, and I'm going to pass you a 10 gallon bucket to fill up with chili," said Cullerton. "You might want to tell the people in line this will be a while."

As of press time, the FBI confirmed that they had terminated Link's cooperation agreement after he attempted to bribe the cashier with $15,000 for more cheese sauce.