New Wiener’s Circle Employee Completes Insensitivity Training

By: Lexington Concord Jr.

LINCOLN PARK - Touting their new hire’s achievements in sarcasm, profanity, and insults that cut to the bone, the managerial staff at the Wiener’s Circle on Clark Street announced that Frank Stevens, 24, has completed their employee insensitivity training program Tuesday.

“That little motherfucker did an outstanding job,” observed Sandra Wiggins, a senior member of the management team.  “From food safety to accounting procedures to what we call customer service, just fucking outstanding.” Other employees are expected to get their shit together soon and commit to the skills they need to succeed at the famed Lincoln Park stand.

Stevens is expected to operate the cash register and supervise food prep in the highly coveted 11pm-3am Friday night shift.  

“Fuck outta here with that shit you raggedy punk-ass bitch,” bellowed Stevens when reached for comment.  

“Lookin’ like Patrick from Spongebob and shit,” Stevens added.

An advanced training program for serving customers a “chocolate shake” begins next week.