Roommates Stage Debate Over Whether Thanksgiving Leftovers Still Safe to Eat

By Tanya Kornilovich

CHICAGO, IL — Talia Smith and Jodie Benny are on the verge of a roommate breakdown over the crucial question of whether Thanksgiving leftovers are still safe to eat. Since the FDA is not responding to their emails, they have opted to stage a debate.

It’s Talia Smith v. Jodie Benny. Smith is on the side of, “if you scrape the mold off the stuffing cubes, they should still be fine.” Benny, on the other hand, wants to throw everything out from Thanksgiving and scrub down the refrigerator.

Since their impasse continued, they requested that their roommates join in on the debate. The roommates, who don’t even really use the refrigerator (one roommate basically lives with their partner, while the other one doesn’t believe in using fridges) watched the debate with one eye while watching TikTok with the other.

“On the one hand, wasting food is bad for the environment,” said roommate Nora Burns . “However, actively vomiting is also potentially bad for the environment and for the livelihood of the apartment. Your Grandma Louise will be upset if you don’t eat every bite of pecan pie. But on the other hand, and I can’t stress this enough, Grandma Louise will also be upset if you’re actively vomiting.

As of 10:51pm, the civil debate had turned into a drunken battle with Smith and Benny eating dry cereal instead of dinner. No one had touched the leftovers and analysts predict they will end up in the trash in another two weeks.