Closed Ditka’s Quickly Replaced

By Alex Peters

CHICAGO, IL - Gold Coast steakhouse Ditka’s closed last week after 22 years of serving upscale American fare. However, the 100 E. Chestnut St. location wasn’t empty long, as it has already been replaced by Dave Wannstedt’s House of Wings. 

“Just like I followed Iron Mike as coach of the Bears, I’m following him into the hospitality sector,” said Wannstedt through a wad of gum. “I’m bringing all the secret wing recipes I learned during my successful one year term as Buffalo’s defensive coordinator.”

Items on the menu include Curtis ConWings, cheesecake with a Jeff Graham Cracker crust, and The William Perry: a 2.6-cubic foot mini fridge filled with boneless wings, smothered in house gravy.

Not to be outdone, Marc Trestman has opened up his own restaurant, specializing in poutine, a Canadian delicacy.  Never mind, it’s already closed.