Lori Lightfoot's Mom Keeps Asking when She'll move to Safer City

By Patrick Reilly

CHICAGO - According to sources within the Mayor’s Office, Lori Lightfoot has been fielding more calls than usual from her mother, asking when Lori will move to a safer city.

“Mom always brings up the most recent gun violence statistics on our calls,” Mayor Lightfoot stated in a briefing. “I try telling her most shootings are on the South and West sides, and traditionally mayors never go near those places outside of an election year. But, you know mothers. They have to worry.”

Mayor Lightfoot, originally from Massillon, Ohio, told us she receives these types of calls once a week. Other sources of mother-daughter friction include admonishments to wear a sweater in the harsh Chicago cold, why don’t Lightfoot and First Lady Amy Eshleman come to visit more often, and just what the Mayor plans to do about getting Chicago Police out of the public schools.

The Mayor was heard reassuring her mother that if she’s that worried, Mayor Lightfoot will reassign some extra officers away from beating protesters to help protect her.