Magic Dragon Sues goPuff for Trademark Violation

By: Mitchell Trachtenberg and Dylan Siegfried

HONAHLEE - While Frolicking in the autumn mist, Puff the Magic Dragon and his lawyer decided to pursue legal action against the goPuff delivery service, for a trademark violation.

"I live by the sea for comfort and isolation. All I want to do is frolic in the autumn mist, without being bothered by people thinking i can bring them Cheetos and hookah coals at 3 in the morning."

Puff TMD's attorney, Little Jackie Paper commented on the matter, stating, "I've always loved that rascal Puff, and I'll make sure all those cocksuckers at goPuff pay for what they did to his good name," he said with an adorable giggle.

A representative from goPuff has acknowledged the suit, but insists that the company will stand its ground. "Our entire brand identity revolves around our name, and it will take a lot to get us to budge. We want people to think snacks and treats when they hear goPuff and we think our name reflects that," said Margaret Overstreet, goPuff's marketing director. She continued, " Not to mention, our legal team isn't convinced that Honahlee is a real place, let alone the defendant, who appears to be a mythical creature being represented by a foul-mouthed small child."

Little Jackie Paper was reached for another brief comment, screaming, "I'm 8 and a half, you fuckers!"

goPuff has commented that if they were to win the court case they wouldn't want to change Puff's way of life, they would even let him keep his name. All they want is to use his song as this catchy jingle:

goPuff delivery service download our app

We'll have your plantain chips to you in 20 minutes flat,

So when your life is cruddy and feeling so rough,

Give thanks you're not a dragon formerly known as Puff