CDOT Adds Paprika, Garlic Powder to Salt to Enhance Sidewalk Seasoning

By Abby Kuchnir

CHICAGO, IL - Representatives from the Chicago Department of Transportation, responsible for pedestrian walkways in the city, announced this week that the salt used to melt ice and snow on city streets and sidewalks will be receiving a tasty upgrade this season.

“Chicago is known for both its culinary innovations, and its walkability, so adding paprika and garlic powder to road salt is our way of honoring those traditions,” CDOT spokesperson Angela Holmes announced at a press conference on Thursday.  “While we are proud of our commitment to pedestrians, the one-dimensional flavor profile of the calcium chloride was not meeting our standards.”

Holmes stated that her team reached out to notable Chicago chefs to collaborate on this initiative, including Rick Bayless and Stephanie Izard.

“While they did not see the value, we decided to plow ahead anyway,” said Holmes.

In addition to chefs, local citizens also expressed concerns.  “The sidewalks in front of my house have been dangerously cracked for over a year.  They are completely inaccessible to wheelchair users, and they are taken over by construction companies every summer,” noted South Shore resident Eddie Williams.  “I can’t believe the city is prioritizing the flavor of the sidewalk salt over these issues. Are they being paid off by McCormick or something?”

CDOT pushed back against these concerns in a press release put out this morning, stating that the more complex flavors and scents would entice Chicagoans to walk more, thus promoting public health, and providing pigeons with a more balanced diet.  The press release concluded on a desperate note: “Snow removal is a thankless job. We need to spice it up. C’mon guys, just let us have this.”

At press time, a CDOT intern was floating the idea of celebrating cultural heritage by salting the sidewalks with soy sauce in Chinatown and Kosher salt in West Rogers Park.