CTA Apologizes for Delays in Announcing Delays

By Tanya Kornilovich

CHICAGO, IL - Due to staffing shortages and the Omicron surge, the CTA recently announced that more delays are incoming. Earlier today, they sent another press release, exclusively to the Chicago Machine, published below:

“Due to the Omicron surge, a shocking shortage of workers who don't care about being coughed on by by the general populace, and the lack of public funding, we apologize for the delays. There will be more of them. Indefinitely. We don’t see it getting any better.

In fact, we also apologize for our delay in announcing these perpetual delays. We admittedly knew months ago, but we were honestly kind of hoping you wouldn’t notice, and/or we could just hire some more workers in the meantime.

We didn’t raise the wages at all, but we were just hoping our old recruitment tactics would work. Also, since the CDC gave us that 5-day quarantine rule, we were just hoping to bulldoze our workers into just keep working. But they keep getting sick! Weird.

Anyways, we knew about these significant delays city-wide for months, so sorry for the delay in telling you. There will be more delays. And there will be more delays in us announcing additional delays.

Also, this is for Steve standing on the California stop on the Blue Line, the train is delayed about 23 minutes. We did know that 15 minutes ago. Good luck and be safe!”