City Council Votes to Fill Budget Gaps by Investing in GameStop Stock

By Tommy Spears and Eli Solomon

CHICAGO, IL - In a somewhat reactionary move, Chicago’s City Council voted this morning to fill shortfalls in the city’s budget by investing in GameStop.

“I got the tip when I was scrolling Reddit the other day,” said Republican councilman Anthony Napolitano. “This guy anarchydan420 said the stock can only keep going up--there’s no limit to how much the city can make off this!”

Last week, after noticing that several hedge funds had taken massive “short positions” on GameStop, Redditors organized several small investors to disrupt the predicted fall in stock price.

“Normally I wouldn’t condone this big a financial risk,” said Councilman Nick Sposado (R), furiously thumbing a rosary. “But the finance guys at Wall Street were wrong about this stock; they said it would fall, and it rose. My God is dead, so we may as well swing for the fences on this one.”

The decision was particularly surprising after Sposado and Napolitano voted against Democrat Daniel La Spata’s plan to increase the city’s 2019 budget by selling Rahm Emmanuel’s old, left-behind copies of Metroid Prime and Paper Mario, as well as the Nintendo Gamecube with “the fucked controller.”

The Council voted to invest $2.4 million, to be taken from the city’s education budget.