Area Man Celebrates 20 Years of Resisting Urge to Put Mouth on Bean

By Sampson Meriwether

CHICAGO, IL - Yesterday, Doug Peters celebrated his 20th year of fighting the temptation to put his entire mouth on Chicago’s Cloud Gate.

“I was just a 15 year old Lane Tech kid, on a field trip to the city, and as we were passing the Bean, my friend Jim dared me to run up, push the tourists out of the way, and put my mouth on it. For whatever reason, I declined,” Peters recalled during an interview in front of the fateful site.

“It was shocking,” said Jim, his childhood classmate. “Doug was the kid who took every single dare. You know how at lunch kids would mix all their condiments and leftovers in a cup, and then dare someone to drink it? Well, he did. But that day we learned where he drew the line.”

For Doug, that small decision was only the beginning of a lifetime of temptation to take the bet.

“Ever since Jim put the idea in my head, I haven’t been able to get away from it! It’s like a craving. That smooth, satisfyingly round and metallic shape just looks so tantalizing. I celebrate this twenty year mark with pride.”

After the interview concluded, he proceeded to stare at the mirrored object, and with watering eyes, he whispered, “Someday.”