Local Restaurant Now Offering Impossible Vegetables, Made of Ground Beef

By: Vineet Baid and Mitchell Trachtenberg

Photo by Ian Molnár

CHICAGO, IL—Last Thursday, Umami Burger revealed a new food option that looks exactly like vegetables, but is actually made of ground beef.

“We realized that there are plenty of people who enjoy the feeling of eating vegetables, but for ethical reasons, prefer not to,” said restaurant owner James Burton, as he stroked his magnificent beard.

“Wow, this looks and tastes exactly like carrot!” said local woman, Heather Armstong as she bit into an orange piece of meat. She continued, “And, I don’t have to worry about all those animals going to waste by eating vegetables! And not only that, it’s ethical too.  Vegetables are living creatures, but meat is already dead.”

Burton has also confirmed that all meat will be grass fed, and ethically raised.