Northwestern Student Peddling Used Clamshell VHS Tapes as Alternative to Disney Plus

By Jeff Butler

EVANSTON, IL -With the launch of Disney+ as the latest entry to the digital streaming game, one movie fan has unveiled his method to sway local users from the platform. While slowly whistling “When You Wish Upon a Star”, Vincent Andrew Chess revealed to a Machine reporter a folding table with a carefully curated selection of slightly beat Disney video cassette tapes. Also present was  a handwritten sign noting a pricing scale.

“Let’s be honest, their website is gonna have… some bugs,” said Chess, winking as he held up a clamshell VHS of Pixar’s 1998 film, A Bug’s Life in his Northwestern dorm room. “Now that almost all the Blockbuster stores have gone away someone’s gotta be on the analog side to help against that digital demand.”

Some customers shared their Disney+ complaints online after encountering streaming and log-in issues during the morning of the platform’s release. Chess beamed since such maladies will not affect local viewers who stop by the flea market to rent one of his 27 analog tapes.

“No buffering issues here. People should remember the biggest problem they’ll have with these is tracking, which is easily adjusted. What’s old and fuzzy is new and clear again,” said Chess as his table centrally showcases such 1970s Disney titles as The Ugly Dachshund, The Million Dollar Duck, and Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo. “No one puts Dean Jones in the corner,” Chess whispered.

When asked about how he would provide newer content, Chess held up a dubbed cassette with, “The Mandalorian TRAILER!” written with a red Sharpie. “I don’t promote this kind of thing but any I have is kept behind the counter,” said Chess, not so secretly motioning to the floor under the card table where lies a dubbed tape reading “Gargoyles episodes!!”.

While many people may be eager to support homegrown small business models instead of large corporate entities, it remains to be seen if an operation of this size can work. Chess is optimistic.

At press time, Chess was scrolling through Amazon, seriously considering buying a VCR.